Why I am a Massive Tool (Part eight in an ongoing series)

I feel bad about not updating the brog much over the past week or two. So bad in fact, I offer two massive tool installments in one week.

A couple massive tool posts ago I admitted that I wanted everyone in my German class to know I went to Columbia. But now, on consideration I realize that however much I want people to know where I go to school, I dread and hate having to tell them. Why don’t we just go through the standard conversation:
Standard Adult: So, are you in school?
Me: uh hu
S.A.: where?
Me: uh, columbia…in New York
S.A.: (short pause) oh (much longer pause)
S.A.: so what are you studying?
Me: uh, philosophy?
(the longest silence in history)

I told Shira Burton that complaining about this problem is like griping about the mileage on my yacht, but be that as it may, that’s always a damned awkward conversation, and my yacht does get terrible mileage.